Is everything out of control?

Sometimes I feel like the wedding has become a monster...no..no...a Godzilla type monster who stomps on buildings, taking prisoners, and destroying cities.  I often find it takes control of my life and what's the most important about the wedding and to us, and holds it prisoner.  Following me?

 Last night Godzilla took aim at my soon-to-be husband in the form of a "bridezilla" (I swear I was possessed for a moment). Even I was shocked at how business like I had become about the wedding,and how I forgot what was the most important and our goal for our big day and that weekend.  After being stressed out with the budget monster (I think he is the brother of bridezilla...) and the guest list monster, my head was spinning, and I was starting to not recognize myself.

I quickly apologized shedding a few needed tears, and realized it's only a wedding and I am still that fun loving girl who wants her close friends and family to share in our experience.  That and everyone already has booked their trips and it's too late to elope.  Hee heee...mom..I'm kidding.  This is our dream to share our celebration surrounded by close ones with our toes in the sand underneath the stars with the ocean crashing in the background.  While the wedding may drive me to drink...mom..again...I'm kidding...it all will be worth every moment of stress in the end and I know I wouldn't want to change a thing.

When we first got engaged everyone used to warn us about the guest list and how many fights we would have about it.  Boy...were they right.  If we won the lottery tomorrow, I can honestly say our guest list would be 125/150 tops, and cutting the list to 75 seemed impossible and cruel.  Truth is weddings  are expensive...I won't tell you the price per head ( too tacky...and I live in NY not Jersey or the big island which isn't short), but I could buy a nice pair of Manolo Blahnick's per couple.   How?!? Why?!? I know I ask myself the same thing, BUT the food and liq are only $130 per head...how could it be that much more...ladies and gentlemen...the things that add up quick that no one warns you about...let me introduce you to the children monsters of Bridezilla and the Guest List Monster....photographer-zilla,tent-zilla, dj-killa, centerpiece-illa, and the evil add ons dancefloor, lights, favors.  We can't forget the even worst red headed step child of them all FLORAL-zilla.  I think they are all monsters, but how can I imagine having a wedding without even one of them...I just can't.  And while we are doing almost everything ourselves, these little monster are expensive just as children usually are. BUT I wouldn't change a thing...  I plan on sending out simple wedding announcements after the wedding and letters to my 9 Aunts and Uncles and all of my cousins who we just didn't win the lottery in time to invite, saying we love them and they are important, but we chose to have an intimate celebration with immediate family and a select number of friends.  To those friends who I couldn't invite...I am so sorry.  I really am.  I have so many of them that mean so much to me and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them, but we just didn't have it in our budget to invite them. :(  I pray and hope you or they are not offended, and I promise it's no reflection of how much you or they mean to me.

Is it October 2nd yet?  :)