Tuesday, August 30, 2011

My Angel...

It's funny.  Growing up, I had quite an imagination to say the least. Once in the first grade I lied to my teacher and told her I had a sister who was getting married.  Far from true- no sisters and not even close to one who ever got married.  I was always dreaming and maybe even scheming. My parents liked it or at least didn't discourage it.  It was a time when children still created forts out of sheets and couch cushions instead of watched t.v..  It was a time when we played in our neaighborhoods until the street lights came on and only checked in to eat or use the bathroom.  No cell phones.  No computers and we still listened to Casey Kasem every Saturday for the "top music" and hoped our songs were played and dedicated on the big countdown.  Times were to say the least a little different. 

The one thing, I haven't told you and most about my wedding  is the absence of my father.  My dad was my world..my hero...and I held him on a pedestal.  It made it very hard for any man to compare 1/100 of his love. He was affectionate and complimentary.  He held my hand when he drove, and told me I could do anything I ever dreamed to do, but most of all he taught me never to take anyone's sh*t and never to settle...and later that broke our relationship for I decided I wasn't settling for not having him in my life anymore and fought him tooth in nail when he chose another family over his first.  But I love him and loved him.  He died right before my 21st birthday while I laid quietly asleep in his hospital room one morning.  

In the months before his death, he and I talked about what the future would hold and he tried to tell me he may not be there for my big life events like he had for most of my brothers'.  I think he was wanting to show his sorrow for that and I never let him, because I wasn't ready at the time for him to give up on life...or me.  One thing we did mention was my wedding.  He had asked for my brother Andy to walk me down the aisle in his place...and Andy will in a month.  I think we both know no one can take dad's place, but Andy and I have always had a very close bond. We've been through a lot together and both have great big hearts who would give anyone the world friend or foe.

I look for little ways to honor him and show that he is still my daddy especially on my wedding day. It's bittersweet losing my father's name which I have proudly owned for so long, and I never want anyone to think I do so easily.  One way to show a tribute to him is I am attaching a locket to my bouquet with our picture in it so he can walk with me down the aisle.  I am also leaving a seat empty for him closest to us. All of these were good for me.  I never wanted to overwhelm anyone with dedications and I know he wouldn't want the attention away from James and I.  

So now my story bring me to my wedding prelude.  While I was picking songs for our cocktail hour, I came across a song that meant a lot to me and my dad.  "Angel"by Aerosmith always brings a smile and most times a cry to me.  What?! Aerosmith?!? I know. Let me explain...my parents were divorced growing up and I went to stay with my dad on some weekends.  He always let me bring a friend to stay the weekend or night.  Well, one weekend we were making the drive to his house with my good friend Rachel in tow.  We were planning on a fun weekend full of tumbling around, eating junk food, and making home videos.  We were listening to the radio when "Angel" came on. It was a "top song" at the time and we loved to sing to it. So, of course we pumped it up and sang our lungs out to it.  I remember thinking how romantic he's in love with an angel (Oh that Steven Tyler).  Well...my dad started singing at the top of his lungs mimicking us giving us a hard time and ultimately embarrassing me ( I was 9).  "You are ruining our song, dad!"- I screamed....but he kept on...so we sang louder and eventually we all started to laugh.  I love that memory.  When I came across the song by the Vitamin C Quartet...I thought...wow that's what I should walk down the aisle to.  How could or would it actually work out mechanically...I am sure it wouldn't blend with the steel drums especially jumping from one to another. So I'll probably leave my little tributes the way they are...but wow..wouldn't it have been great.

Anyway...that's my daddy.  And now here's the 1980 version with the music video of course! And then the Vitamin C Quartet one which in my dream wedding in my head I would have walked down to (maybe when we renew our vows in 10 yrs?...Jimmy just fainted)...enjoy. I hope it brings a smile to your face, because it will to mine knowing ironically now my father is my angel.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Ok so I have an excuse...

Irene...she came and went and seemed to be a little hyped up...Yes we lost a tree...a very popular tree that used to live in the park.  Other than that we had a good excuse to spend the weekend together.  We played board games and cards and waited for a storm that never came or if it did---we slept through it.  At some point he and I realized...WE ARE GETTING MARRIED IN 33 DAYS.  Holy Moly.   So we danced to our song and enjoyed our much needed but couldn't afford take weekend staycation thanks to Irene.  Let me show you...

We found weapons...

Made watermelon drinks from fresh watermelon

I'm obviously winning...

And he officially loses...

our neighbors board up...

We went for a windy walk

Daisy had a drink...

And then another...

What a great weekend. Thank you Irene..but you owe us both a weekend pay!! 

Monday, August 22, 2011

The zipper that wouldn't zip

What I need is an honest friend.  You remember when I got my dress back from the seamstress and everything looked perfect.  I felt great.  I was exercising every day and ready for Vegas and all of the pool parties.  Well...fast forward...two months...here I am nothing to do tonight and what a perfect time and night to finish off some wedding projects.  Whats the best way to motivate yourself to begin wedding projects.  Try on your dress. 

So the scale has been my friend lately and friends seem to be saying "wow you look thin" a lot which either means I was a cow last year or I have indeed lost weight.  Those two factors have made me think it's ok to try the dress on.  So I did.  Well...kind of.  The sucker wouldn't zip.  

Granted I ate two tacos (I blame the mister he didn't finish them off for lunch) and it may be getting close to you know what, but still...really?  I am bigger now than I was in June.  <Motha effin sigh> 

And it might be because I have not be exercising everyday and actually even "Map My Run" called me out on it.  You havn't exercised since Aug 11th.  Thanks "MMR."  So tomorrow I run.  No matter rain or sunshine.  I run.
And the next 40 days I will not...

So here goes...

Sunday, August 21, 2011

41 days woohoo

Bachelor parties are officially over and we have survived (barely).  Now I am full wedding swing and putting the finishing touches on everything or throwing it to the scrapping room floor.  Which makes me wonder how many other things have ended up there.  For instance, growing up I imagined getting married in a huge beautiful church with a cathedral veil.  Can you imagine it....my bridesmaids make their way down the aisle only to have the doors come to a close...behind them I smile and wait and then the sounds of the wedding march and everyone stands...I make my way pass friends and family to my (do I dare say) astonished maybe even tearful groom.  I imagined a Cinderella like dress and I even imagined wearing a blue sash.  So what else is on that floor? Here's a list:

1. lemon centerpieces
2. orange bridesmaid dresses
3. pumpkin centerpieces
4. floral centerpieces
5. flip flops as favors
6. a viel
7. yellow high heels
8. our song for our first dance
9. dance lessons
10. a wedding video 
11. sit down dinner
12. teeth whitening
13. actually exercising every day
14. bridesmaid wearing mix match dresses
and a few pictures of ideas which have come and gone...

Thank. God. 

But what do we have...we have my dream wedding for the dreams I dream today, tonight, and tomorrow.  We are having a wedding that we will cherish the memories for the rest of our lives.  I am so blessed and so incredibly lucky to being having my dream wedding of any kind so yesterdays dreams I will trade in for tomorrow's reality and my own "happily ever after."  This is still my year of jubilee and we are achieving everything we have set forth and dared to dream about.  Our friends and family who have gone above and beyond amaze me every day for everything they do.  I am just humbled by their generosity and love.  So what can I leave you with for today...my cup runnith over and thank you for making this year the best year of my life...and of course an even bigger thank you to my future husband who has made every dream of mine come true...well almost...to be continued. :)